All parents try to be good parents to their children. Some parents are stricter than others and all parents have different parenting styles they subscribe to. But whatever the case may be, parenting is a demanding and oftentimes difficult job. Most parents feel pressure from society, family members and friends to always do or say the right thing. The failure of which can lead to feelings of shame, guilt and thinking you’re a “bad” parent. In a society that blames parents for pretty much everything their child does it’s easy to think that everything wrong that takes place is your fault. But is this really true? Here’s why you might think you are a bad parent and reasons why that’s just not true!
Why Do Parents Think They Are Bad Parents?
Parents in today’s world think they are bad parents most of the time and can we blame them? With the ridiculous amount of societal pressure and expectations, you can feel like you’re doing something wrong no matter what you choose to do. A huge sum of this stems from the fact that many adults think that children today are experiencing more stress, and worse mental health, than what they did when they were young. This directly contradicts the traditional belief that kids today have it way easier than the hardships that parents had to endure in the olden days.
The thing is, this belief may not be entirely wrong. Think about it, children today are cushioned and protected from any literal or figurative playground bruises they might otherwise sustain. Everyone gets a trophy and we monitor their social interactions. And this makes you a helicopter parent or worse, a snowboard parent who is always cleaning hardships out of their child’s way.
But if you do allow your child to endure hardships, be challenged and encourage them to succeed, then you are overscheduling them. And seen as an overbearing perfectionist who will only validate their child based on their accomplishments. These Tiger parents have unrealistically high expectations and are too strict and demanding. So, no matter how you parent, there seems to be something you are doing wrong. But this couldn’t be further from the truth. At the end of the day, parents know their children and therefore, know how best to parent them. All you need to do is trust your gut and do what you think is right for your family.
Here Are A Few Signs That You Are Not A Bad Parent
1. Your Child Is Open And Transparent With You
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All parents feel proud when their children share their achievements and successes with them. But the moment you must be more proud of is when they are comfortable with being vulnerable and sharing their losses with you. One way you know you’re a good parent is if your kid comes to you with their problems. Because this essentially means that they trust you with them. They see you as someone who will listen to them and support them. If you make your child feel safe and help them understand that it’s okay to make mistakes as long as they are willing to learn from them, you’re doing a great job!
2. You Can Admit When You’ve Made A Mistake
Everyone makes mistakes occasionally and parents are not exempt from this universal truth. Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, you just mess up. Maybe you said something hurtful unintentionally or lost your cool and yelled at the kids, whatever the case may be, saying sorry helps. Parents forget that in order to teach their kids how to apologize they first have to show them how. So the next time you feel like you’ve been unfair or mean, put your ego aside and apologize to your child. Good parents know that their children will only respect them more for being real and open with them. And remember, a person who can admit to their weaknesses is a strong person!
3. You Can Trust Your Child’s Word
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Standing up for your kids is extremely important. If your child is open and honest with you, you have no reason to doubt their word. When you’re in a situation where the teacher says your child has been misbehaving, ask your child about their perspective before you start yelling at them. You may find that it was a misunderstanding or that your child is stuck in a situation that requires your help. Trust your child when they are trying to tell you their version of a situation. It will help them feel safe and protected and will help them trust you more.
It’s easy to fall prey to stray comments and remarks that people in society make and everyone has off days. But, you have to keep in mind that you are doing the best you can as a parent. As long as you are committed to doing what’s best for your child and taking their experiences into account, you’re doing great sweetie. Happy parenting!