When a father of mixed-race children revealed that he took a paternity test behind his wife’s back because one of their kids “doesn’t look half-white,” it infuriated many.
The dad, 29, went on Reddit to express his doubts about his son’s identity, citing his ‘noticeably darker’ complexion than that of his wife, 30, as reasons for his disbelief.
He clarified that his son’s lack of resemblance to him prevented him from bonding with him, which led to suspicions and the eventual need for a covert paternity test.
In a discussion headed “Am I the A**hole?”, the unnamed father asked whether having a paternity test and keeping it a secret from his wife put him in the wrong.
After disclosing that he took a paternity test behind his wife’s back because one of his children “doesn’t look half-white,” a father of mixed-race children has incited ferocious criticism.
The dad, 29, went on Reddit to express his doubts about his son’s identity, citing his ‘noticeably darker’ complexion than that of his wife, 30, who is black.
I’m a Caucasian male 29 years old, according to the post. Thirty-year-old Black wife here. Our two children are five years old and a three-year-old female.
Our son was born to my wife at an early stage of our marriage. We had hardly gotten along for a year. She became pregnant, which is why we got married. Luckily for us, we’re content right now.
“I embraced my son as my own when he was born.” But I couldn’t help but notice how little he resembled me.
“He has a much darker complexion than my wife.” His appearance is not half-white. Friends and relatives have questioned if I’m certain.
“He has a much darker complexion than my wife.” His appearance is not half-white. People close to me have inquired about my certainty that he is mine. Even though I had my misgivings, I chose to trust my wife at first. Nevertheless, I cherished my son.
The couple brought a daughter into the world two years after their son was born.
The dad was drawn to his daughter immediately after she was born because she resembled him.
He had no concerns about her from the moment she was born, but it made him start to feel bitter against his son.
“My wife gave birth to our daughter when our son was two,” he said. She was definitely mine.
He said that because his son didn’t look like him, he was unable to form a relationship with him and as a result, he had concerns and eventually had a covert paternity test (stock picture).
She even has my blue eyes, so she resembles me exactly. I had no idea how strong it is to know you are a parent.
Because we weren’t dealing with the weight of paternity issues, I was able to connect with her more easily.
My family also grew closer to her more quickly. Her similarity to me made me realize that my son is not really mine.
The man claimed that he didn’t want to raise “someone else’s child,” and he became increasingly irate since he believed his wife had “betrayed” him.
He said that although he had always attempted to treat his daughter and son as “equals,” he was unable to do so.
“I realized I was beginning to resent my son,” the father said. The fact that I had to look after someone else’s child seemed unjust. I also started to feel angry with my wife since I thought she had deceived me.
To calm his fears, he subsequently made the decision to obtain a paternity test. But he made the decision not to notify his wife.
His connection with his son and his wife both improved once he realized his son was, in fact, his.
I eventually had a covert paternity test. Finding out that my son is, in fact, mine brought me relief. Genetics is strange.
That was four months ago, and since then, my wife and kid and I have a much better connection. Now that I am aware that he is mine, I feel much closer to him. We were contemplating about having a third kid since my wife and I had been so pleased.
To calm his fears, he subsequently made the decision to obtain a paternity test. But he made the decision not to notify his wife.
Even though he was pleased, he started to feel guilty about hiding anything from his wife. He made the decision to tell her.
“I admitted to my wife that I had taken a paternity test,” he stated. Since he doesn’t resemble me at all, I believed she would understand that I detested maintaining the secret.
But when his wife found out what he had done behind her back, she had the exact opposite response and became furious.
She lost it. When I told her that I had never doubted our daughter, she accused me of being racist. It is untrue. My kid had whiter features, but that didn’t make me like her—I simply knew she was my.
She said, “For all those years, I made our son feel unloved for no reason.” That’s bullshit, I said. I treated my son as though he were mine even though I didn’t think he was,” he continued.
According to the 29-year-old male, his wife is now threatening to take the kids and go.
“I’ve been on the sofa for about a week and a half,” he added. By now, I thought she ought to have calmed down, but nothing has.
She is really enraged with me for not believing in her and for, in her opinion, rejecting my kid on the basis of his race. She hardly speaks to me other than when it concerns the kids. I wish to keep my family close to me.
But when his wife found out what he had done behind her back, she had the exact opposite response and became furious.
He asked whether he was a “a**hole” at the conclusion of his article, saying that his wife was “overreacting” and that he didn’t know why his “doubts” were “wrecking his marriage.”
The father received harsh criticism for his actions and outrage from users on the social networking site once he revealed his guilt.
An individual said, “You’re the a**hole.” She isn’t exaggerating at all. Not only did you not trust your wife, but you also allowed your ignorance to prevent you from developing a close relationship with your kid.
“Well, what were your expectations going into having mixed-race children?” Not every time is it the ideal blend of both parents’ mocha.
“You might get that; you might get a child who is as dark as Wesley Snipes or as white as a vampire.” You truly must accept responsibility for your actions, ask for forgiveness, and change your foolish mindset.
“You will be needed by your son.” It’s difficult to be a black man in this world.
“He even claims his family didn’t bond with him as much as his lighter daughter,” another person remarked. It seems that racism runs in the family. The poor child is deserving of better.
“Those poor children and that poor wife,” a person said. What a horror it would be to marry, trust someone, have children, and then learn later on that they are racist.
And that their family’s relationship with the darker child wasn’t as strong? My skin is crawling, ugh. I’m not sure what the wife will ultimately decide, but if she decides to stay with him, he will need to go above and above to establish his humanity, especially if his son grows up and learns about all of this.
The father’s revelation infuriated many on the social networking site, who also harshly criticized him for his actions.
I want to know why he was so certain that the lighter child was his when she might have easily been the result of an affair—especially with a white man—said one individual.
“I have a feeling that the soon-to-be ex-wife of the OP won’t be dating white men anytime soon, though.”
He said, “No one bonded with him, but he also treated his kids the same way.”
“Not only is he the a**hole, racist, and selfish, but he is dumb as well,” said a different user.
Apart from reliving his own guilt, what specific goal did he intend to achieve by notifying his wife that he had received a DNA test result?
“Anyone with a functioning brain cell would know that it would not be well received to inform your wife that you believe she cheated on you and that you have been suspecting for some time that your child is not yours because you’re a racist idiot.”
Another person stated, “Those early years are so critical in a child’s development, and OP publicly admits to resenting this kid for years. Plus, this poor kid has to watch his father interact with his daughter in a more positive way because she has light skin.” I’m very sorry for the wife and son; it’s just really awful.
You are a complete jerk. I can assure you that your son saw and assimilated your treatment of him. Some said, “Kids just know these things.”
Another said, “Please take an HS level biology course. You marry a black woman and for whatever reason became perplexed because one of your children ended up black.”