The woman observed her girlfriend’s unusual behavior during their first date.

A woman has opened up about a challenge that arose in her otherwise nearly perfect relationship. She took to one of Reddit’s communities seeking advice. Beginning her post with a sense of uncertainty, she said, «I don’t think I’m in the wrong here, but maybe I’m being unreasonable, I don’t know.»

She proceeded to provide the backstory of the conflict. She explained, «I 24F have been with my gf 22F for about 2 years now. She’s wonderful and I love her a lot. On our very first date, something I noticed was that she didn’t seem very concerned with cleanliness.»

The woman identified the first red flag when they shared a snack together. Describing the incident, she said, «We ended our date by grabbing a snack that she wanted us to bring back to her place. We got there, and she immediately started taking everything out without washing her hands.»

The woman believes that this habit is damaging their relationship.

The OP elaborates that she couldn’t overlook this behavior. She expressed, «Maybe I’m just a clean freak, but this surprised me a little. I brushed it off until she excitedly tried to get me to try some charcuterie jelly she had. She did this by dipping her finger directly into the jar and holding it out for me to try.»

This situation made the woman feel very unwell. She expressed, «At this point I felt pretty icky about it and jokingly said something like „and get a taste of all that stuff we were touching earlier?“ (We were out and about, public transit, etc.). She seemed a little embarrassed but agreed that was a little gross, but still didn’t wash her hands. This was the first day we knew each other.»

Their relationship is already starting to deteriorate.

The woman continues her narrative, stating, «To this day, I have not witnessed her wash her hands with anything more than water. And even that takes me asking multiple times. She will go about her whole day, use the washroom, etc. without washing her hands.» The OP, feeling desperate, can no longer tolerate this habit. She observes the absence of basic hygiene practices permeating their life.

She wrote, «She loves finding „treasures“ when we’re walking around, like abandoned toys, household stuff, clothes, etc. even if they are visibly very dirty. She touches everything and anything, doesn’t wash her hands. She also showers maybe twice a week, doesn’t use soap there either. The ONLY time she washes her hair or uses soap to clean her body is when I literally do it for her, which she says she enjoys.»

The woman is deeply concerned about her and her partner’s health. She elaborated, «This wouldn’t bother me so much if it weren’t for a few things: she likes to cook for me, she loves to dip her fingers into jars and drink straight from bottles instead of using silverware and cups, she touches my face a lot, and to be honest, she stinks. And onto my main point, she is ALWAYS sick.»

Her partner’s reaction to hygiene talks is also quite bizarre.

The woman admitted, «She tends to be very sensitive and gets very upset if she thinks that I’m implying that she’s gross in any way, so I try to be as gentle as possible when encouraging her to wash herself. Eventually, I guess I got fed up when she was complaining about being sick again, and said that maybe the reason she keeps getting colds and other illnesses is because her hygiene isn’t very good.»

And the reaction was very strange. The OP described it, saying, «She got really quiet, cried a bit, and now she thinks that I think she is disgusting and cries whenever I bring up washing hands or anything like that. She used to just laugh and brush it off, but now she seems to be really upset by it. I don’t know what else to do, and I feel like a bad person. But I don’t think I did anything wrong, either.»

Reddit users shared their opinions in the comments section.